so I'm sitting here wondering how I got here. After 1 failed pituitary surgery and a half year of losing almost all my cushings weight and getting to be some what normal, I am now back at home from having to quit college again to have surgery. I have gained even more weight then last time, and all I can think about is how long it?s going to take me to get it all off. I would never wish this disease on anyone. It?s now only a matter of time until I can schedule my surgery. Dr.L was suppose to call Friday but did not.. this means I have to wait till Monday to hear from him. I am gaining more and more weight as we speak. It?s so depressing Its hard to put into words.. I look in the mirror and dont recognize myself anymore, my biggest fear is having the BLA and it not working.. I guess I don?t have much of a choice because gaining 10-15 pounds per month is not going to get me anywhere but having a heart attack someday.