Dear self,

Today has been filled with some moments of happiness. Despite all my struggles I am still alive and kicking here. I am lonely. That is always the hardest part. Yes, I am blessed to have hubby, but I am still lonely. I miss my best friend Mikki. But, I have no idea where she went. My other friend, well she obviously does not want to be friends with me anymore because I am too fat, or because she changed religions, or who knows what. Oh well, such is life. I miss Mikki most of all. Here I am, stuck here almost every day and it gets so old. I thank God for the internet and being able to write because if not I would be more than half insane by now. Tomorrow my mom is having her third surgery on her sinuses. This time she has an infection that is completely fungal. I am hoping and praying to God that this will go away. I am going with her this time. She is picking me up tomorrow, and then we are getting my Dad from work and going straight to Beaumont. God be with us please so this goes well. I am scared and worried about my mom, more than I am about my own health. I feel paralyzed in life by all that is going on, yet I still am here.

I think I have lost a total of 10 lbs, but it is hard to say with a dial scale that I have that only goes up to 300lbs. But I can generally tell it is going down if nothing else even if the actual weight is not accurage.

Goodbye for now...

michelle