Myth: It is MY fault that I got Cushing's...

[~MaryO~]

Myth: "It is MY fault that I got Cushing's. I did something wrong that caused me to be sick! If I would have just done XYZ, this would not be happening to me!"

 

Fact: This is a very controversial topic because we don't like to talk about it. However, many people struggle with this myth. We NEED to dispel this myth my friends! Patients themselves assume responsibility, accountability, and self blame for becoming ill.

 

To compound all of that, patients are often told by loved ones, family, and sometimes even their churches or other supports that there is something that THEY could be doing or haven't done that has caused their declining health. "If you would just follow that raw food diet, then all of your symptoms would go away", "Juicing is the answer! I told you to juice and you wouldn't get those tumors!", Sometimes, you are told that if you would just pray harder or have greater faith, then there is no way that you would be sick right now. And my absolute favorite, "you are just too obsessed with being sick and having Cushing's!  Stop thinking that you have it and it will go away!".

 

Now, don't get me wrong, I find value in "positive thinking" and affirming health, wealth, and all kinds of great things. This helps build up strength and personally keeps me motivated, especially during the times that I feel like absolutely throwing in the towel and giving up!

 

However, I am NOT the reason and YOU are not the reason for this war with this dreadful disease. What many people don't understand is how tenacious, brave, courageous, and INDOMITABLE you are! Cushing's patients do not just get surgery and then everything is magically OK.

 

Many patients have to go through multiple surgeries, sometimes radiation, sometimes years of testing to find the ultimate source of the disease, even after having several organs messed with. Even after patients obtain their "cure", they are faced with residual and lingering negative effects of the illness, other hormone dysregulation issues, and the anxiety and fear of a recurrence which is based in absolute reality.

 

There are people, like myself, who are in remission from Cushing's, BUT we now have Addison's Disease/Adrenal Insufficiency as a result of removing vital organs in order to save our lives from Cushing's. So, are we to think that Adrenal Insufficiency is ALSO our faults every time we near death after an adrenal crisis?! NO! NO! NO! 

 

This is NOT your fault! This is NOT your doing! STOP blaming yourself! The best you can do is to FIGHT! Take an empowered stance by saying "NO" to those who won't listen. Say "NO" to those who project blame onto you and tell you that this is just a "fat person's excuse to stay fat". You are not just a "fat person"! YOU are an amazing person who is fighting for your life! 

 

Let me be clear that this blaming is common and we all do it. In my "5 stages of Loss" series on Youtube; I address the "Bargaining" stage of loss, in which we assume responsibility for getting sick or even for getting better.

 

Everyone should watch this to understand why and how we do this: 

 

 

Remember, you are a survivor! YOU are Indomitable!!! This is NOT your fault! You WILL overcome!

[sns72]

I heard this a lot.  I had a very stressful job (which I loved - it was good stress for me) and the first reaction I got from many people when I said I was diagnosed with Cushing's was "it's because of your job - you need to do something with fewer hours and less stress."  I work for a firm with 600 people, the vast majority of whom are normal weight, active and under the same amount of stress as me!  If it's my job, why don't all of us have Cushing's? Is it because I am just not as well-equipped as other people to handle stress?  Really?

 

Being a childless woman in my 40s I was also asked if I got Cushing's because I didn't have children or because I was on birth control pills for a long time and these choices somehow messed up my hormones.....  

[JessP]

I can very much relate to this issue. Ultimately, I diagnosed myself, but I felt like I should have figured it out sooner. I had been a nurse for a little while before it dawned on me.

 

At this point I'm in the 4th stage of loss, depression. I'm so sad that I'm 27, not working, not in school, and only surviving before of a disability check. If I don't start to feel better soon I don't know what I can do. For right now, my dogs are my reasons to live and the reason I get out of bed every day. This is never what I thought I'd grow up to be when I was little.

 

sns72, I get similar comments often, as well. I was once told that it was my extreme dieting that caused my Cushing's, that eating too few calories for two long is what caused my metabolism to crash. That makes no sense whatsoever. Anorexics aren't generally overweight. And beyond that issue, my Cushing's came before my crazy diets. I didn't know why I had gained so much weight and normal measures to lose it weren't working.