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Journaling

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incrediable looking back

I am shocked when I read my other blogs. I have not had anymore TIA symtoms. They never did officialy find out what was happening. There were several theorys but no real diagnosis. I really beleive they were TIA like symtoms due to stress of working and being on way too many meds. I still have the headaches but not like they were before, again I think it was the meds. Dr.L says TIA can happen with cushing's. So who knows. I am still not well, I have no energy to do anything, even on days when I

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Now on Disability

I am now officially on disability and am kind of sad about it. I will miss my collegues and my students. That 4th TIA was the deciding factor. I have been told the diagnosis is Cushing's Syndrome until we have more biochemical evidence for Cushing's Disease. I do have a pituitary tumor. I just hope it will show itself soon, so I can have surgery and get on with my life. Well at least I'll be here for my kids this school year. They need me right now. I feel like I have been absent from my family

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More brain troubles

Well I had the MRA done and a MRI. It showed 3 white matter lesions. Could be due to chronic small vessell ishemic changes, or MS. I am still in the workup process for this and of course cushings too.I have missed a lot of work lately and it scares me. I am very dizzy today and have had a bad headache. Vision is blurry also. I should have called the doc but I am afraid to. I go into the hospital on monday for a TEE (scope down my throat) Looking for blood clots in my heart. They better sedate m

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scared and lonely

Well I went in to see the on call doc last week, he was great he even called me saterday to check on me. I had the corodid ultrasound and I am wondering what it said because he ordered a MRA and I had that done yesterday. He asked me if I have ever had a neck injury or chiropractic work done recently, which I have. I don't think that could be the problem. He did say I might have a small tear in my corodid artery. I guess the MRA is a map of all the blood vessels in the neck and brain. I have no

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Yep it was TIA's

I am feeling very scared right now. I went to a ER night before last and was having another TIA. They say this is a major warning of a big stroke. I had left arm numbness again today but did not go in. I am also having weird chest pain but am too afraid to go to the ER. I am thinking maybe it's just anxiety and it will go away. I have taken xanax and lots of ibuprofin hopiing it will go away. If not I will go in but like I said I am really scared. I am afraid it may be a pulmonary embolism, mayb

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Lost My High

I knew once I did a UFC my high would go. Darn it I should have listened to myself. I felt my tumor turn off last night, I started to get very achy, and cold then I was walking with a co-worker and my body stopped, for about 5 sec I could not get my legs to go, I tried to say something to her and my words came out all jumbled. It felt like a short circut. I have been having the elecrical shocks lately, doc once told me they were parasthesias.(partial seizures). I immediatly got myself home and w

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Same Life, Another Day

well it happened again but this time it was this morning. Pulse and B/P up again and so is glucose(237). I have started a UFC this time. I will keep my fingers crossed that it will be very high and this will be the one. I have been very wired all day. I doubled up on my beta-blocker per my PCP and it did bring my pulse and B/P down. I want a UFC of over 250 so I can have surgery and get on with life.

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Another Day

I should be testing right now. Last night I felt a surge of anxiety and then my heart was racing for 4 hours. Pulse was 137 just sitting there doing nothing. My B/P jumped up to 170/115 I was close to going to ER, but I did not, and this morning it was back down. I am so afraid that if I do another UFC I will lose this energy that I have and be back in the state I was several weeks ago. BAD.

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In Denial Lately

I don't know why but lately I have been trying to just ignore the fact that I am sick. I had a very good couple of weeks. I should of been testing but I did not want to. I am paying for it today, I am pooped. I don't want to be sick anymore, I love my job teaching and I have the ability to touch many lives. I was at a Planning conference this last week and was very inspired to be the best that I can be, but........I also had a huge sence of guilt, when I am sick I can't put in 100% and that is j

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