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Where I am at


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I problaby should post my story up until this point, but decided for now I would just start a journal of how each day or week is, so that I, (or anyone) can look back and see how I have progressed. These baby steps in recovery can be deceiving and sometimes you feel that you are stuck in one place and not getting any better.As of late:I have lost 24 lbs (about) now at the 160 mark. Hopefully this will keep going down so that I can get back into the 130's where I am most comfortable. I haven't worked out or started a exercise program, but we are working on the pool deck and that is enough of a workout for me right now. Hopefully when the pool is up and running I will get a water program going. It feels so good.I still get fogged in moments. I feel spacey but remembering back they are nothing like they use to be.I still get very tired and feel week most of the time, but I see how I have slowly been improving. My feet still ache, I have the ongoing neck aches because of the ruptured disks in my neck and my shoulder, well that is a whole other story. I don't know if anythign will help it other then surgery but right now I am not prepared to be even peeking at that possibility. I have just had enough of doctors and hospitals .. and I have another problem (my heart blockage) to contend with right now.My sleep pattern is still messed up and I wake up about every 2-3 hours each night. I don't have a problem falling back to sleep, but hate that I wake up like that.I still get some mild swelling and my hands will ache too if I do too much. Mostly my right hand swells up as well my left foot. That seems to be lingering since my adrenal surgery this past Oct/04. I will be going in next Monday for the heart catheter procedure. I hope (if needed) that he can do the stent at that time. I don't want to have to go through a bypass surgery. I think considering the time frame this was caught rather early and that the stent will work. Future goal is to stop smoking. I really need to address this and get a grip and give them things up. I just have to find the will power. I know it is in me, I just have to do it. GET'er done! If there is a will there is a way.. right? I don't know why I doubt myself about this so much. So many other people who have smoked for years just QUIT, why can't I?Well feeling rather foggy after the last week of working on the deck. I may go have a quick nap or laydown for a bit. I feel worn right out today.Bye for now,Canasa

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