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trying to make it though



Well today is Tuesday and I am still waiting on a call back from the endo that was suppose to come Thursday last week. I guess I have to call back but I not sure it will do any good. I waiting on blood work to get back and I battling another infection. my feet are so swollen they are purple and cracking and bleeding. I really need the doctors to do something for the pain it unbeearableHavn't sleep in days. This weekend was rough BUt I trying to get my spirits up but it so hard when you fighting this. and Ken didn;t get in this weekend I always look forward to him being home. He called last night he usually so supportive but he was difinally not that last night. I guess we all in titled to a bad day. I miss shim when he is gone and I know he worries about leaving me when i this sick sometimes i don't let him know how band it is because it just not fair to him. my sister called yesterday and she upset i wonnn't go in the hospital but I hate being there it just so depresssing and Brittany my oldest daugter she 18 dosn't do well when i go in. She gets really scared and she has final this week so not a good time to go. Maybe when I get my blood back they will do home health antobio sometimes i just want this to end stop the suffering of my family and me. This disease takes so much out of a family I feel alone when i in a room full of people. I miss work because iI could just get lost in that but I can;t even cook supper anymore work that a laugh. I worked so hard to have my career and a family now it seems i losing both to this illness. And with my mom sick and justt losing my dad that the holidays are just good for me not to mention the money issue. I got to find something to look forward too.. I hate having a pity party I know i am blessed to have a wonderful husband and a family that loves me and a church that is like family to me. But since I had the seizure and can't drive I stuck in and i am so depressed and i hate being that way. But al least I have this board were I can somebody to talk too well I going to go for now


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