My ?me? time is pretty good. I write a lot mostly. And read a ton. Online and in books. I splurge on my internet for cable access and group memberships that I really enjoy. It allows me to be social without talking physically, which is stressful to me. I get too excited and happy! But writing causes no stress for me, unless it?s fiction that seems to be hella stressful because I am not so confident with it. So I am not pushing myself. Reading is such a pleasure for me. It really is. But, anyways, I have a lot of cable channels and a DVR recorder so I can record my favorite shows and relax and watch them when I want to. I love ice skating and enjoy watching that. ?House,? ?Gray?s Anatomy,? ?Ghost Whisperer,? and some reality shows I enjoy a lot. I GREATLY enjoy my kids, my three cats. They really make life worth living! They are wonderful and comforting. So, here?s good news and an update to my last pity party post:1. Insurance company called to go over my health with me. The nurse asked for information, I gave it to her. She was really sorry she asked lol. Not really. Asked if there were any specialists I need to get to? I said I had a ton. I talked to her about my pain and the insurance not paying for a pain mgmt specialist she agreed I could use it. Said it is lacking in the plan and she would be VERY happy to discuss PAID options with my doctor. I love Oregon! I gave my doctor her name and number.2. My doctor realizes my pain. I said I didn?t appreciate feeling like I had to constantly defend my pain and I am not going to be in less pain, but more so I needed something stronger. She prescribed me Methadone. It is fairly new in using for pain management. They use it for cancer patients etc. It is strong yes. However, so is my pain. It really is. It has a longer life than morphine and less side effects. I need just half a pill more a day and I think I will be managed. I am not out of pain, it is a narcotic and tricks my brain into not realizing the pain. I am sleeping the whole night through! Each day, about 12 hours of blessed sleep. I am not waking up in excruciating pain. It still hurts, but it?s managed now. This is a long term solution and patients are said NOT to need many dosage increases with methadone. It is covered by my insurance too and is very cheap if I ever lose it again. It is also extremely constipating like the oxycodone was for me, so I need that with my extreme horrific diarrhea. I don?t have it anymore! 10 years and finally no being chained to the toilet. I am so happy. 3. My insurance lady said no problem with swimming! I have to go to a physical therapist though, can?t just swim alone being so ill and injured and they will pay for it. I am in such a small town, that I get to go to a posh club with a heated salt water therapy pool. I bought a swimsuit in size HUGE from ebay and its sooo cute even if I look like a stuffed sausage in it I don?t care. I can?t afford to care! I want to feel better. I will NOT overdo it. My physical therapist will probably just have me walk in the water for a while. This is the only approved exercise I can do because it is not weight bearing, for my hips and back. 4. My doctor said I can get the stop smoking drug ?Zyban? by signing up for a telephone support group that is free! I have signed up. I will be getting that drug and stop smoking. It is a year long program so there is no real pressure to quit without relapse, which takes a lot of pressure off of me. Think Is I hate the health problems with smoking, and the smell, but I like smoking. It will be hard to quit. But I am going to give it my all!5. Doctor asked if I was better on the upped steroids. I said oh yes. She said she could tell. She has doubts that I can get safely below 20mgs prednisone, ever. I told her to have faith ;)6. My insulin is not doing great. I am really a diabetic now! I can tell from this post that I was in denial still. Sugars are not being well regulated with injections, so they will be upping my dosage. My diet is pretty healthy.7. My mom made an appt with a dentist that will take payments! Next week. So she is helping me. Thank god. It?s going to be years of work and money to fix me, but she told him how much it meant to me and that it?s Cushing?s fault and he is very nice and says he can help me and take payments. I love my mommy. I am nervous about it. I think I?ll end up with some dentures. We shall see. At least partials. To be able to eat without pain would be nice!8. My attorney is feeling good about getting that social security appeals denial overturned. I think it will be. The evidence is overwhelming. What will piss me off is them treating all this as new evidence, and therefore having nothing be retroactive as it should be. Might have to wait 25 months for any medicare benefits! Ugh. But after five years I will be happy to have it over with. Waiting on a report from the orthopedic surgeon.So as you can see, there are some silver linings! I have had some great people call me and talk to me. I am now tucking in a bit for a rest. This methadone makes all the difference. I don?t have side effects except for extreme tiredness and I like that cause my sleep debt it huge! I feel more relaxed too, less tense. Not as anxious with that cortisol rush feeling. I just really am grateful. On Christmas day, there is over 6 hours of ice skating scheduled! So my mom and I will be visiting I will be at her house and play with the cats and watch skating while she cooks a bird for two. I?m actually quite looking forward to it. I still need to see my new endo UGH on January 10. We?ll see if I cant get to the bottom of my multiple ovarian cysts as that could be contributing to my symptoms and such.