Right now, I feel absolutely exhausted. I head just aches with all the pressureof thinking too much, my cheeks are burning and I am getting black streaks before my eyes - probably the stress of it all. I wish I didn't have to wait another day to find out for sure if it is a reccurance. Just ben reading up on alot of others stories and articles. For months I guess I have been trying to ignore all of the things happening, putting it down to th eother hormones acting up, the way recovery happens...this disease is so confusing and has so many contradictions, it sometimes makes my brain ache just thinking about it all. I wish the testing, diagnosis and recovery were simple and straightforward, but it just seems that it is more complicated than anything else. I just feel incredibly sad right now. I have been depressed over the past week or so...an omen perhaps, who knows. 2005 was another year of stress and I personally feel if I am having a reccurance then it is down to all that has happened. These Doctors can tell me till they are blue in the face that it is not stress related, but I'm sorry, my track record proves otherwise. You know, I can sit here and say 'Why me?' and I can dwell over 'What if's' but it won't help me. I know I have the inner strength to see this through a second time - I'm pretty p***ed off about it, as I thought my life was moving forward and I was heading for a cure, but I guess with a 60% chance of a cure with macroadenomas the odds weren't that fantastic! Roll on tomorrow...