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Insomnia Again



Once again I'm a victim of insomnia. Damn it I was really liking sleeping like NORMAL people. You know going to bed one day and waking up the next, but now I'm going to bed one day and waking up the same day. And that's only if I'm able to sleep at all because when this happens I only sleep a little bit and not very restful either.


Since I've been keeping track of my sleeping patterns I've noticed that everyday it's getting later and later before I'm able to fall asleep and the amount of time I spend sleeping is decreasing.


Yesterday I woke up at 2:30 in the afternoon and didn't go back to sleep until 10:30 this morning and that was after I was forced to take four Tylenol PMs in hopes to fall asleep. Then at around 1:30 this afternoon my dad came in and woke me up to feed me. He's really being super supportive of this. It was nice to have someone actually go out of their way to make me a plate of food and deliver it to me in bed without being asked. Luckily once I was finished eating I was able to fall back to sleep relatively quickly by 2:30pm. And was able to sleep until about 4:30. So today I'm going on only 5 hours of sleep.


I was once again forced to accept the physical problems associated with this illness. First while taking a shower I noticed that the stretch marks on my upper left arm are gradually getting closer to my elbow. And while rinsing my hair I accidentally pulled out two handfuls of hair. I'm really surprised that I even have any hair anymore. I don't even use adult shampoo anymore. I've been using that kids suave 2-in-1 shampoo. Mostly because I like to use conditioner and since it's 2-in-1 I only have to rinse my hair once, so then I won't lose so much hair.


I also made the horrible mistake of looking in the mirror while I was undressed. It's so embarrassing and disgusting to look at myself now-a-days.


On Monday I have an appointment with an internal medicine doctor to get some medications to help deal with the pain management. One thing I'm definitely going to ask for is Ambien for sleeping.


I'm still waiting on the results from OHSU. I emailed them earlier so hopefully they will respond soon because I'm really curious to knowing what my results are from my tests and stuff like that. I already know that they found a 2.5mm tumor on my pituitary gland but I don't know what the results are from all of my other tests that I took.


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