...and I have an even longer one awaiting me tomorrow.
Because of the massive amounts of doctors bills I have from trying to get myself diagnosed, to gall bladder surgery, to having my son 9 weeks early, my husband had to get a 2nd job. Since I am not a reliable person to have working right now, he was the one who pulled the short straw. He works 40 hours as a programmer and then around 25 at the local gas station here in town.
I hate seeing him have to do it and miss out on time with our 13 month old. But I can't possibly work, its hard enough on me surviving the day without him and watching Grady. Tomorrow he works his full time job and then goes straight to the gas station to work. I think I am going to spend the day at my mom's since it will be a long day watching Grady. Just too much for me.
Some days I just don't know how much longer I can do this.
Some days I have tons of fight in me.
Today I feel like curling up into a ball and disappearing. That feeling makes me feel so guilty because I have the most wonderful little boy and devoted husband ever. Its not a lack of gratitude that I have these wonderful boys in my life. Its a tiredness that reaches to my very core. I'm so sick of this.What a long day