People, I am getting so tired. Its almost that time of the month, on top of all of my regular symptoms its just absolutely wretched. Its not as bad as it used to be, since its actually disappearing, but the hormones get worse nonetheless. I'm so emotional and I've cried twice today for no reason. I hate not feeling in control of even something of as simple as whether I smile or frown. Whether I laugh or cry.

Can someone explain this to me? I really need help understanding how this works. I'm tired all day. I have insomnia at night. ??? This is a very normal symptom for someone with a tumor like this, and I'm very blessed because I don't have insomnia ALL of the time. Usually just around my cycle. But golly. Its awful. Last night I went to bed around 10-11. I fell asleep at 6 am. What the heck. I'm up and running today but I don't know on what, God's grace? That would have to be it. I woke up around ten today, but couldn't drag myself out of bed until around 1 pm. I felt so awful leaving Grady in his crib, but he didn't cry at all! He just played! I'm glad he is young while I am going through this, I would hate for him to understand and worry about his mommy.

Also! Through the grace of God (I'm sure relying on it alot lately) we were blessed with the money to purchase a laptop. This will help us keep in contact with all of you and the best part, FLOYD CAN WORK FROM MAYO! Hurrah! We only have 5 vacation days left at Floyd's work, and we hate using them all up now when I haven't even had surgery. So, whatever happens now, we have a laptop so that he can work from where ever we are. Thank God he has a job where they will let him do that.

Floyd is so tired. I hate seeing him tired. He used to so look forward to weekends and the relief from his real job. Now he turns around and works all weekend too. Ugh. This too shall pass, and I'm hoping soon!

I need to post last night symptoms, but I'm not in the mood to relive any symptoms other then the ones I'm currently experiencing. Maybe missing one day won't be so bad. Maybe I can do it later. I feel so sad right now. UGH. This isn't Tara. Who is this girl?