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Elise T.

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Everything posted by Elise T.

  1. Elise T.

    Today

    Today is a better day. I had a low run that lasted about a week and I'm starting to come out of it. I was up until 3:30am this morning. It's funny that during my highs where I get little sleep, I feel better than when I get tons of sleep in my lows. I've had a problem with anxiety lately. I can feel it coming on early. I get pressure in my chest and become very aware of my breathing. I get really concerned that I'm not getting enough air or that I'm wheezing when I'm not. No wonder I've been labled as a hypochondriac! I hate that word by the way. I know that something is wrong with my body and I've been very verbal about it. I think I've always been sensitive to my body and I always know when something is wrong. I have a bottle of Klonopin and I take .25mg - .5mg as needed. My doctor prescribed it so I take .5 in the am and 1mg at night, but it seems to make me really tired so the smaller doses help- I can still function. Today is kind of humid and cloudy. I didn't leave the apartment once today and am still in my pj's at 7:30pm AND I'm totally ok with that. I'm not depressed at all; I've done laundry, finished a book, changed the sheets on my bed and did the dishes. I just enjoy the comfort of the pj's on occasion I'm getting concerned about my job. I took FMLA leave in Sept (I can't believe I've been off work for six months now!) and it's up next week. I really hope my job will stay around for me to return to. I love my job, the pay is good and not to mention the medical insurance that I need more than anything right now. I'm also hoping that the adjuster that's handling my STD claim will continue my salary and transition me into LTD. I'm not sure what I'd do if I get cut off. I know I can't go back to work right now, but know I will be able to return sometime. I started worrying about all this after I realized my supervisor hadn't responded to my last two medical updates to her. She was very supportive and communicated with me on a regular basis in the beginning. Now, nothing. I'm hoping she's just busy and it's not that they're planning on letting me go.
  2. I saw my therapist today and told her all about yesterdays conversation with the endo. She wasn't surprised that he mentioned bi-polar and actually thought he'd say something sooner. She explained to me what bi-polar is- how people have these "highs" (mania) and "lows" (depression). She said that bi-polar disorder can also mask as other medical conditions and how he shouldn't be making this kind of diagnosis without ruling out the medical issues. She then asked me several questions and did a screening to satisfy the small part of me that wonders if maybe I am crazy! I answered yes to 4 of the questions. Come to find out you have to answer yes to 7 of the questions and you had to answer yes to #3, which I didn't. So, the good news is that I'm not bi-polar We had major thunderstorm & flash flooding warnings today with some pretty good downpours. There was quite a bit of thunder & lightening. I love em. I've only lived in Texas for 9 months now, so I'm not used to them yet. They weren't a common occurrence in CA. My mood is pretty good today. I'm pretty tired. I didn't eat anything until 3pm. I've loss my appetite again. This seems to come and go with my highs & lows. I am so glad that I'm not working right now. I couldn't imagine having to deal with the stress of my job on top of all of this. Looking forward to meeting Dr. F in LA on the 28th!
  3. I've been on this site since October and am starting to really get into it. It's the most amazing site and I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have it. Thank God for it! I've been tracking my symptoms and charting as much as possible, but I'm not really journaling and thought that it would be a good idea. Today was a bad day. I was very angry with my endocrinologist who had the nerve to tell me not to go to see Dr. F as it would be in vain. He shared with me today that he thinks I'm bi-polar. Well, I think he's schizophrenic. When I first saw him last July (2006) he said the dx of PCOS didn't seem very accurate so he did some blood work and found my DHEA's were really high. He said I had an overactive adrenal gland. Then he did a 24hr urine test which came back at 365. He dx me with Cushing's, did a dex & crh stim test. I had a brain MRI & chest/abdomenal CT. Lung nodule detected in the right lung- 3mm. Pit tumor of 3x5x5 found. Next thing I knew I was looking for neurosurgeons and getting ready to have an IPSS to determine if the source was pit or ectopic. Somehow I ended up seeing a Dr. at UT Southwestern who calls himself a Cushing's specialist. He did some blood work- high DHEA & cortisol, but normal UFC. He declared me psuedo-Cushing's and said I had an anxiety related disorder. He canceled the IPSS and told my doc I needed aggressive psych treatment. Went back to see my endo who said I probably have some form of PCOS. Since then I had another high UFC- 400, high DHEA & 17ketosteriods. Now I'm bi-polar?! Can't wait to get out to LA.
  4. He didn't say anything about ectopic. I know it's pretty rare, but I would have liked to see it mentioned.
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