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About persephone

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    Number 1 on my "to do" list:
    Get a successful surgery.
    Number 2:
    Get on with LIFE. .. .
    meaning: Getting back into dance,
    getting a nonstressful job until
    I can handle a real job. Figuring
    out what I want to do with my life
    education and
    career-wise.. ."up-ing" the
    tattered cognitive skills. .
    . and quite frankly,
    just having fun!

    Life's too short to be
    taken too seriously.

    Being an eloquent writer
    again some day would be an
    added bonus.

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  1. P.S. Thanks for thinking of me!

  2. I miss you too!!! How are you doing? Love you bunches, Nicole

  3. I miss you honey, drop me a line - You're never far from my thoughts!



  4. Hey Robin, Just wanted to 'drop by' and say thank you for all of your support. I think you are simply smashing, darlin'.

    Hope you are well.


  5. Mary. .. Nice post. Yes, yes, fish oils are very good for a body. I didnt really read this whole thing because Im about to fall asleep but yeah, omega 3 and omega 6 are essential for all sorts of things. .. and help the hair and nails as well. Fish Oil supplements are a good idea for people who don't like fish. Oh yes, this is coming from the ultra-health, well-balanced diet Nic, who always forgets to put food in her mouth. Hopefully with a cure will come an appetite. I mean your body can't even absorb vitamins and such if you aren't getting adequate nutrition. So downing loads of collagen supplements is doing me wonders, especially with all the crap I've got going on. . . Diets that cut out fat are actually really dumb, because the brain needs it to function. Well, anyway. .. Headstands are really good for the body too. .. Seriously, of all the yoga poses, they have the most benefits. . .. Anyone up for some sushi and a headstand contest? (haven't done the latter in way too long, and don't believe I could anymore. . . . my balance is all screwy) Love ya, Mary, and I'm not avoiding your messages, I simply do not know how I feel about my consult yesterday. He's not too experienced. I was an emotional wreck in it. I don't know. I don't know my anxieties from intuition anymore. ..and I don't feel intuition anymore. I'll keep everyone posted though on surgery, of course. In the meantime, I think I'll eat some salmon.
  6. Dave ! I can ALWAYS count on you for a good laugh. I'm the one who started that game so maybe I just want to be around more of my kind. Thanks, Dave. That was good. Nicole
  7. This has nothing to do with Cushing's, but just wanted to post it in case anyone is interested. Australia now has America beat with the highest obesity rating in the world. AUSTRALIA has become the fattest nation in the world, with more than 9 million adults now rated as obese or overweight, according to an alarming new report. The most definitive picture of the national obesity crisis to date has found that Australians now outweigh Americans and face a future "fat bomb" that could cause 123,000 premature deaths over the next two decades. If you want to read on. ... . http://www.theage.com.au/national/nine-mil...tjv.html?page=1
  8. Yeah, I know, Robin. I don't know why I went off on that unrelated tangent. That quote really screams Cushing's to me and the whole song actually does in a strange way, even though I know what it's actually written about. ... . now. I didn't until just recently.
  9. Ok, I'm just beginning this article but it is officially cool for quoting my little Fiona's "He said it's all in your head, and I said so's everything, but he didn't get it" .. ......... I really liked this article Robin and how the author talks about shame. Shame was the reason I did not seek help for all these crazy and gross symptoms going on with my body until four years down the road. I knew whatever was going on was not normal and I was incredibly ashamed over my skin thinning. . . .which was the major thing that kept me out of drs. offices. It sounds odd but I also just thought it was 'me' and that I was just 'weird' and 'different'/ Obviously all these symptoms were medical but that somehow did not register in my head. In truth, if I would have went to a dr. in 05, any idiot pcp would most likely have said "Cushing's" and had me go to an endo. Truly. It was very very obvious in 05. Anyhow, I think this article was really good. I have shame over my BMI but know there is not a thing I can do about it. . .because I exercise any time my pain and energy levels permit. . and I simply cannot gain muscle back while cortisol is still attacking it. I thought it was interesting what the dr said about never hearing about the disc problem going along with obesity. . .being a health complication of obesity. I'm lucky to have a decent PCP who has never once questioned me about Cushing's and has actually said there is no other reason someone my size would have all these weird things going on and have gallstones for that matter. I've been pretty lucky to get right off to F. the second I dared enough to figure things out and heard the word "Cushing's" . The second I walked into a PCP here before LA and showed them some striae they gave me a 24 hour UFC jug. So its quite silly that I put this off for so many years and I could have saved a lot of skin, actually, if it weren't for this stupid thing I have called: Shame. Shame hit the second I started getting really winded in dance in 03/04 and my breasts were tender and growing. It's just ridiculous to put off help over something like shame, but I bet it happens all the time. Now, jump back to Fiona, sorry . .. I'm on one tonight. . . . I'm aware this is Robin's post not Nicole's. . .. but just FYI: This is how little common sense I have: I know of a whole bunch of songs that are about anorexia. When I say this, I mean, songs that no one else would ever guess are about anorexia. People typically write about it (and I used to as well back in my adolescent days) as though it is a person. Whenever I have thought "This song is about anorexia or an eating disorder" I have always found out down the road sometime, that in fact, it truly is. I also have this strange thing where I can spot someone who has been through an eating disorder pretty quick. Has nothing to do with body shape or size or anything. It's just this vibe I get. I've never suspected someone had recovered from an ED and been wrong about it. It's just this weird thing, sort of like how you can spot a dancer by how they present themselves and how they walk. Anyhow. .. . That being said, I have always liked Fiona Apple but didnt own any of her cds until the past two years. I always had this theory that she had been through anorexia and I just found out a few months ago that I was right. Funny thing is though. .. .I'd never have guessed her Paper Bag song that full on says "Hunger hurts, but starving works" and "He said it's all your head and I said so's everything, but he didnt get it" was about anorexia. DUH, NICOLE!!! Guess it's just too straight forward for me. I didn't realize she was being literal. I'm used to reading between the lines or something. Oh boy. . .Nicole has no common sense. I really thought she was being metaphorical. Ok, now that I have revealed how dense I can be at times. . . I will stop rambling. Just a random fact about the song that was quoted though. Thanks again for sharing, Robin. You're fabulous, as always. XOXO Nic
  10. Oh boy. High cortisol causes anorexia people. I can't even read more than two sentences of that paragraph without getting rampid pissed, Robin. I did see something about 'eating like birds' and if this guy had any clue what he was saying, he'd know that that expression is actually funny because birds eat a TON for their body weight. The expression 'eating like a bird' therefore means 'eating like a pig' so to speak. It took me three years (04 to 07)to realize. . . oh wow, I havent been eating really. Maybe I have relapsed though I have gained 40 to 50 lbs doing so. I was simply not hungry for most of my Cushing's years. It was nothing like my little trip down anorexia road as a teen that was truly all about obsession. I'm not saying that I'm oh so healthy. . .when I went without an appetite and failed to realize what I was doing for a long time. . . I'm just saying when I do eat and really focus on my nutrition and having to be ultra aware because its so easy for me to just forget about food. .. I eat very healthy. Everyone who knows me in any real way would testify for that. I do enjoy my occasional chocolate and such because I'm not going to go psychotic only eating fruits and veggies obsessive because that is not good for my mental health. . . but I am somewhat of a health nut. I'm pissed now. Thanks, Robin. I'm just kididng, I think it's funny actually how stupid and ignorant people are. All the kids I used to work with were always saying how 'healthy' Nicole is and how she always eats so healthy. "Nic, come to the park with us pleeeeeaaaase. . .you're the only staff member who is not lazy" Of course they didnt know I can't even physically take them running because I'm too winded from Cushing's. . . .but. .. . psssh, people piss me off who think weight and eating and exercise habits always go hand in hand. If that were the case, some of the skinniest people I know would be overly obese. Rant officially over for the time being. I'm going to read the good article when I get the chance, it might help even out this bitterness I now feel. XOXO Nic It's not your Cushings. Bahahahahaha. Sorry, that is just too dang funny and classic. Nothing to do with that dang tumor in our heads. . . all the stereotypical cushing's symptoms that other overweight people don't get. . . yeah, must be our lifestyles. . . keep telling yourselves that, idiots. Live in my body for a day and then get back with us on if you still believe those theories, right? Robin, you're all over all the latest articles and such. You rock.
  11. Have you seen the brain doc yet???? Hope your doing okay!

  12. Mary,

    You are the best!

    I just love you.


  13. thanks nic!!

    I've heard some great things about him, too.

    But I just really would like to meet him! haha

    I'm not very impressed with his assistant I've been seeing.

    She dismissed me and was really rude about it the last time I was there

    so I'm nervous.....

    I'm really planning on LA.... just getting the $$$ is a problem :(

  14. haha your inbox is full!!!

    it's Dr. Wahlen here in Ogden... I haven't actually seen him yet, just his nurse... who i can't think of her name... I just call her Dr. Evil. haha

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