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Blog: I think I am too stressed.

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  • Chief Cushie



Wednesday, June 18, 2008 I think I am too stressed.


The moment I take out my gp holiday assignment, my mind immediately shut off. I couldn't think of anything to pen it down. Within a short frame of time of just 5 minutes, I put the gp assignment out of my sight. It is that stressing. I don't like gp now, it's all fear that I have for gp. No, I am not good at english.


I just keep eating all day long. I don't even wanna touch my books. I think I'm really on the verge of breaking down. I just keep doing anything but sitting down to concentrate on the lecture notes, reading and trying to cram information inside my head. Something is just distracting me.


Dr Eng will be back tomorrow. I hope he calls. I want the tumour to be seen on the scan. I want it to be removed from me, forever. It's hard carrying on trying to face examinations knowing that something is growing inside you and progressively harming you. Moreover, I thought my life would be a bed of roses ever since 2005. Who knows, a recurrence would ever happen. No, it's not easy to accept that. In addition to that, the operation fees are a bomb. Your one lifetime-savings bomb. I've been saving up, trying not to spend on any material wants except food, to at least pay for my own MRI scan ($900) this time. I don't want to be a burden to my parents.


I just don't understand why my body is in such a mess. Cushing's disease, chronic uticaria, bilateral compartment syndrome..I'm like a perfect example of a failure of a cell-mutation experiment.


I told Dr Eng I'm not able to exercise because of my skin problem. And maybe that's why I've been gaining weight. I don't know lah, I just know I need to get good grades, and earn some good money. sighs. enough for the day. gdnight.

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