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Trying Hard


SaintPaul

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So it has been six months and a day since my surgery to remove the tumor on my pituitary gland. Those many months before surgery were hell and finalling finding a diagnosis was the greatest thing. I couldn't even trust myself with anything because I was so forgetful. I worked full time still and because I would only sleep like 4 hours at the most at night, I would just come to work. I usually would get to work at like 6am and work the full day in a zombie like state. I was going to the doctor about every week, just so they could make sure this was Cushings. Honestly all I wanted to do was jump to surgery and get on the road to recovery. All those tests, so many I lost count, just made me more frustrated with the doctors. My husband and I were newly weds and things were getting worse as the weeks went on. I didn't realize how depressed I was until now when I look back. Trust me looking back is not much fun, but I do it to see how far I have come these few months. How do you explain to people how hard it really is when they have never experienced something like this? That is why I reached out to this site, hoping that I could meet people who do understand that this is HARD. That yeah I have had surgery finally but things are far from over. There are still days when I can barely get out of bed. And I am trying to stay positive, but I worry it will come back.

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