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Hoping It Will Get Better




I am new to blogging. Please excuse me if I make some mistakes along with way.


First I want to get this straight..I am not a whiner. But, lately, that is all I seem to be doing. I am totally miserable and uncomfortable. I have read through some of the blogs out there and I must admit, I am suffering the same symptoms that most of you are going through. The buffalo humps on the neck, shoulders, back, arms, legs, I even have them on my face...I sometimes refer to myself as gargoyle. I am now a whopping 160 pounds over weight and I am lucky I can climb the stairs in my home without falling. I knew there was a purpose for hand rails. Omar, the tent maker, is my fashion designer. Even my fat clothes don't fit me anymore. Good thing I live in a beach community-shoes are optional. I couldn't get my swollen feet into them even on a good day.


My day starts out good. I get up and do the usual stuff to get ready for work. Fortunately for me right now, I can work out of my house. I am telecommuting. Technology is wonderful. I don't have to schlep through the airport making my way to Memphis via Atlanta. I think, if I had to do that walk again, they would be peeling me off the floor. I could work comfortably until about 2 pm. That is when the pain starts to set in. I try to endure it as much as possible or until I am ready for bed.


I can't describe the pain. It depends what I am doing for the moment. Is it my back that hurts from standing more than 20 minutes? Is it my feet that hurt because all the swelling is down there and the tingling, pins and needles just compound the pain. My hands hurt because my fingers and wrist swell up by the time I am ready for bed. And, once I am in bed, I can't sleep because my fat stomach gets in the way and I physically have to get up and roll over. Hence, not one of my doctors would prescribe me a sleep aid. If I am not tossing and turning, I am sitting up in bed because now I have heartburn. The minimum food I eat has no place to go,


So, now I am counting the days until I see "the specialist" in cushings. My ATCH level indicates that I have a pituitary tumor but the MRI couldn't find it. My cat scan shows I have a 3 cm growth on my adrenal gland. I consider myself doubly blessed. My appointment at UVA is at the end of the month. I am estatic.


I keep reading about all these things about removal of the pituitary gland and the adrenal gland. At this point, please take both and put me out of my misery. I rather take supplements rather than endure this torture forever.


If I had to put everything into perspective, I would rate dealing with cushings right up there with having breast cancer and divorce. I am a breast cancer survivor, been through it all and it was a cake walk versus what I am going through with cushings right now. I would rather go through 2 more years of chemo and radiation therapy than to live in the body that I have been blessed with now. And what could I say about divorce..if divorce is the emotional roller coaster, than cushings is the "ultimate" thrill ride. LOL


I hope I am seeing that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow :spudnikheadstand: My appoiintment is at the end of the month. Wish me luck :clap:


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