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Morning Depressison


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I'm stilling learning about this blog. I looked and looked last night, but for the life of me couldn't figure out how to add an entry. Then this morning I opened "My Blog" and there it was the "add entry" button. I wake up with a dark thunder cloud over me, I'm depressed and I'm sure that my world is about to end. NOW! Today I'm thinking "What IF!" and I'm going to end up a street person. I read somewhere that many, many people with an adrenal tumor, even without overt/sub-clinical cushing have anxiety, that disappear once the tumor is removed. Every day it's a struggle to make it through work. I have abdominal pain, and just try to make it through the next hour, then try the next hour. As you can imagine, the quality of my work is going down. Just 4 weeks to NIH. I have a sister who's terminal with lung cancer. Never smoked a day in her life and wouldn't allow it in her hours. I struggle with her. In my perspective she doesn't like me or approve or my life. I'm divorce and ever since then for religious reasons there's been a space between us. We live 26 miles apart. In the 1 1/2 years since she was dnx. I have called her to say I'm coming to see her, or just dropping by only when I get there she would be gone. This has happened time and time again. Sometimes I think she truly forgets that I've called, but other times I think it's deliberate. I don't know. So I'm going to try again today. I feel like I should take some gift of food but don't have the engery to whip something up. Well, time to go.

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