Well, I went in for the blood draw on Tuesday and it took 5 attempts to find a vein that would co-operate - came away with all my arm swollen and bruised. It's very sore. yesterday, I was feeling so rough. I think its a combination of starting back on the hydrocortisone and changing insulin. Actrapid ceased production at the end of December and I had enough to see me through to now. I have been switched to Novotrapid which is a shorter acting insulin. I feel very rough. I was incredibly emotional yesterday evening. I just wanted to sit down and cry and just get it all out of my system - sometimes the best way, I suppose. A bit of a rollercoaster. Emailed the resolution to my endo as I thought it would be good to share the news over here of all your fantastic efforts and he emailed back a very supportive message. I really want to start doing more over here. Just a little to start off with until I know I am much better but I feel stronger day by day, just tired and the usual joint and muscle problems - a good sign, perhaps.
I guess I am hitting the emotional rollercoaster wall right now, I just want to cry all of the time, I feel very all over the place right now. I ffel so emotional inside and have all this emotion welling p yet my head doesn't seem to want to co-operate and is not letting me get the wmotion out. Usually when I feel like this I can have a good cry and get it out of my system, but I can't even manage that and I have all this emotion and frustration building up inside. I am getting incredibly over sensitive right now as well, I just feel so tired. Maybe I should stay off the boards for a few days. Probably won't be able to offer much helpful advice to anyone right now. God, I hate feeling like this. I have to finish off the stack of housing applications. They all want extra information that I will have to scan and print, I just have no energy. I have been trying to get Steve to take Harry to his Mum's for Easter so I can have some time to myself but he doesn't want to. I think I could just do with some 'me' time right now. Mum has been talking about having a massive spring clean this weekend and Steve wants me to work on some paperwork with him. I just want a break from everyone.
I thought I would borrow some books from the library to try and get me out of this mood and so got out a 'Colour Me Confident' book from the 'Colour me Beautiful' team - it gives some quite useful tips on what clothes and colours suit as well as make up and accessories. To be honest I have lost all sense of style (not that I had much anyway) or any perception of what looks good or not since my whole body shape changed and I coloured my hair darker. My complexion is more ruddy as well - I used to be just pastey!! So I might go through my wardrobe today and have a good old clearout. Not much fits me these days anyway and I find myself living in the same old clothes day in day out - can't be bothered to make an effort on anything else. Perhaps that is what I need to get myself out of this. Yes, I know it is probably all hormonal right now but I need some sort of boost. I ahte getting tearful at the drop of a hat. As I keep saying, I think I just keep forgetting what it's like post-op.