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I Wish...



...I weren't so tired - a recurring theme in my blog entries. But I wish that I could live more, enjoy life more, be more "real" and I think I have to be less tired to accomplish all that.But what if I get less tired and find out that this is all that there is? Life is more than half over and there's nothing more for me, everything good that's supposed to happen already has. What a depressing thought.I'm not depressed right now, but these down-type feelings keep creeping into my thinking. Midlife crisis? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I've spent my life being too afraid to really live, to talk to people, to do things. I'm always looking around, seeing what other people think and changing my thinking to what I think would make them approve of me. It doesn't always work, and I usually feel like I've sold out somehow by not being me by honoring my own thoughts and wishes. Sometimes I don't even know which are really my own thoughts and which I've picked up along the line from others.Drat! A middle age wimp! I need to get a spine surgically implanted.


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  • Member of the 1000 Post Club

Hope you dont mind getting a reply here. It's so wonderful to read about people and how they feel day to day. I guess just knowing it isnt just me!


Always makes me think of the movie and line "What if this is as good as it gets?"


I think that a lot and always say to myself "Self, if it is as good as it gets then make it as good as possible." And i try.



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  • Member of the 1000 Post Club

Mary It's really good to see you blogging. I'm really sorry you are so tired. I wish the docs could figure out why and do more to help you.

I'm sorry, but I thought you last comment about the surgically implanting a spine was hilarious! Just cracked me up :D

Please keep writing. I, for one, like to see what's up with Mary....and don't ever worry about writing about being tired....if that's what you feel then write it down!!! Hopefully one day we will read that you are feeling better and not so tired!


PS Thank you so much for starting the blogs ...This has just done wonders for me!!! I always wanted, and really needed to keep track of what was going on in my life healthwise and other, and now that I've started I'm not having any trouble keeping it going! I am really enjoying reading other's and getting to know them where I probably wouldn't have without the blogs!

You are such a sweetie for doing all this for us. What would we do without you? :angry::D:D

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  • Member of the 1000 Post Club

I'm with her. Christy can you just follow me around so I don't have to express what I feel? Thanks. You're a doll :angry:


I mean about the tiredness MaryO- we're so THERE with you. :D

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  • Chief Cushie

Thanks for the responses, Adrienne and Cristy. I've always wanted a blog and even set up one elsewhere, but never found the time or the energy to actually write anything in it, so it went by the wayside. This is a bit easier, since it's right here, where I am most of the time, anyway.


Thanks for the positive comments! This disease is so terrible, b ut no one can see how badly we're feeling. Since I had my surgery so long ago, everyone assumes that I'm ok, recovered, that Cushing's is behind me.


That's one of the good things I'm finding out about these Cushing's awareness bracelets - people are asking me what they mean and I can educate them about Cushing's. No one ever asked me what was on my Medic Alert bracelet. LOL


In just the last 5 days, 6 people have asked and learned a bit about this who wouldn't have had a clue otherwise.


Anyway, one more piano student for today and then NAPTIME! Sometimes I think that my life is little bits inbetween long naps. Swell fun....NOT!

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