Sorry about the title. I'm 50 years old and been on the dating scene for 10 years now. I still can't figure it out. I"m sitting here at my computer bemoaning my situation, and on the other hand shaking my head at my reaction. There's a lot of background to this story. In the beginning I was a skinny, shy 14 year old in a new school. John was a shy, geeky looking 14 year old new to the school also. We became friends, but he ran with a wild crowd and I was with the good girls group. His family left after that school year. I really missed him, but life went on. I finished school, got married at 18, had kids, divorced when I was 40. He had his own life also. Last spring I got an email on classmates.com that there was a message for me. It was this guy, wanting to catch up after all these years. We exchanged emails, several a day. When he came to Atlanta we went to dinner, we went to a reunion together. But mostly just emails. He wrote me today that he's going to ask a woman that he's been seeing to marry him. I know there wasn't any future with him, I could not see one in any way, but still it hurts. I was still attractived to him. At times like this I wonder if I was still skinny would it have made any difference. What if I had't put on over 100 lbs. But if I keep thinking like that I could say "what if aliens abducted my neighbor?" the truth is there was major differences in the two of us and even if I was skinny, nothing never would have came of it. My choice. But still, JUST DANG! to be told in an email?