Spent most of this morning sorting out things to sell for tomorrows car boot sale (garage or yard sale is the equivelant I guess, not sur eyou have car boot sales in the States, do you?). Anyway, been pricing things up and got a fair bit to sell, hopefully will make a bit of extra cash to pay some more bills off. I am really desperate to get one of the jobs I am being interviewed for, it will mean we can then concentrate on trying to tidy the house up to sell instead of declaring bankruptcy - seems silly to go bankrupt really if we have enough equity in the sale, but its just getting someone to buy - the market is very slow right now but our house is such good value compared to other houses. If I could pick our house up and put it in Essex or Cambridge itself, I could be asking for ?100K extra, its utter madness the way our market is.Phoned Mum last night and the conversation was a bit stilted. I am so sad that it has come to this and my advice to anyine would be not to borrow money off of relatives. The only problem with us is that we had no other person to turn to and when you have a child you do anything to make sure there is food on the table. I really hate what this disease did to my life, it took away such self-respect and turned me from someone who was successful and earnt a good wage to someone who has to beg from relatives just to buy a loaf of bread - its madness and I HATE IT!!!! Sometimes you just wish that someone could give you a break. My Mum made me feel so guilty, she said she was falling behind with her bills, well one month, but she doesn't seem to have any concept that I am over two years of late payments and struggling to keep my house. I had to look after Harry full-time straight after my operation because I had no help and Steve had to bring in a wage for us - its madness. Still, enough of my rambling...I just feel so sad that I am being made to feel so guilty and ashamed about everything by my own Mum. I get scared that the stress I have will produce another tumour, I hate living like this. I just hope something good happens in the next couple of weeks and finally something will improve in our lives.