Well yesterday was my first trip to OHSU to meet with Dr. Maria Fiseriu. I really like her she is very nice and seems to know what she is doing.

Anyhow, she said that all signs point to Cushing's but because it is such a rare and nasty disease she wants to re-run some tests on me. Yesterday, all she done was talked to me and done a physical like examination of what this terrible disease has done to me. And she had some lab work done.

Last-night I had to take a pill at 11 and then had to go back up to OHSU this morning at 8 to have some more blood drawn. I should have had them take the blood from my left arm because now my right arm where they take blood from is sore.

Later this week I have to do two 24-hr cortisol free urine tests (ewwww..) and then a couple of saliva tests and then turn them back in. The urine tests I have to take back up to the lab but the saliva tests I have to mail in once I do them.

She was also talking about having to do that procedure where they go up from my thigh to my pituitary gland. But she assured me that I'll be asleep during the procedure, so I'm not all that worried about it.

Besides I'm willing to do anything to get rid of this terrible illness and to get my life back.

I'm applying for college online. I'll know tomorrow whether I'll be able to start this month but if I won't be able to this month I will end up starting in October. I'd much rather do college at a campus (like normal people) but it's something I can't really do right now. So online it is.

Now, I'm sleeping a lot again. I'm not really getting good sleep but I'm just really restless now and spend most of my time lying in bed. This really shouldn't be happening to me, I'm only 18 I should be up running around or something not having to lie in bed all day because of the aches and pains.

Sometimes I just wanna cry but I know crying isn't gonna do me any good. So there really isn't much point in doing so. I keep hoping that I'll just wake up one of these days and all of this is just a really bad dream or something but I doubt that'll happen.

I'm really hoping that my levels are still really high so I won't have to spend a lot of time testing again. I mean I'm already diagnosed in Michigan now I just have to be diagnosed in Oregon. But I'm not really worried about that either. It's a good thing I have more patience than my dad. His patience is running really low with the doctors and the pharmacy and stuff like that. The doctor wouldn't give me a script for anything to deal with my terrible constant migraine that I seem to get a lot but I think that's mostly because she doesn't want anything to effect my testing. I told my dad that it would be OK but he isn't willing to accept that. And it's not like I can keep them a secret because if I do, I get in trouble. So I'm just hoping for the best and that they won't get like they were before.