Well I had my social security appeals hearing on July 15. So I think I can finally talk about it now. I first applied oh four years ago. I had to reapply oh two years ago or has it been three? Anyways. So I had been denied on paper four times to get to the hearing. I had appeared twice before the judge: Once, I wasn't prepared and she said get an attorney. Second time, I had moved and lost my atty so then I moved back she said go get an attorney I will reschedule you. So I did. The attorney assured me she would get records that were more up to date. She did not do so. When asked if there was new information by the judge, she said no. Anyways, my diagnoses on paper are: Fibromyalgia which i don't have, Cushing's Syndrome, Avascular Necrosis of both hips from steroids. Oh and glomolumerloitis sth like that of the kidney. I don't know if I have that, but my last doctor put it down on their paperwork.So, she had an Endo on the phone to 'consult' she the judge had stated that he was only to help her understand the medical things, but that's NOT how it turned out. I have never seen him before! He knows nothing of me. Her questions were really skewed. She was looking for documentation that doesn't exist I mean COME ON I haven't had medical insurance since 2002! How the HELL am I supposed to have MRI's of the hips that are newer, xrays, all these tests do they THINK I'm made of money The endo wasnt too bad. He said obvsiouly being given a dex suppression test for 4-8 weeks [i can no longer remember!!!] it had made my cushings so severe and most of my problems could be attributed to it. He couldnt at all understand how it happened but I told him- the doctor forgot about me and told me to keep taking the dex. I didnt know any better. Then the doctor left. He said according to my records my blood pressure was under control. Well it is NOW- I was hospitalized within the past year in CA and given emergency medicine to lower it it was so out of control. How is THAT controlled? Oh but WAIT the records weren't there that documented this. Wow what a neat thing to find out. My diabetes I should be on medicine for and I could go down on the steroids quicker, accd to this doc who doesn't know me. Huh? I only GET diabetes when I go down or up! Otherwise, giving me meds would only screw with the sugars. I cannot take their ferking Glucophage it makes my IBS off the charts no way, no how I'd rather in ject insulin. I do think some injections when tapering might help but HOW I ask can i do THAT without medical supervison? I can't. I'm not God! He said I could work sedentery work. Ack ack ack! I told him of my extreme swelling but heck I guess if someone were dumb enough to hire my sorry ass then they could also give me an expensive fully padded ottoman like I have under my desk. To limit swelling. Sure, I'm an employers DREAM. But then he said I would have lifelong problems relating to the cushings and steroid use. He doesnt understand the kidney at all. The severe IBS is 'controlled' with Codeine even tho i told him nothing else works only codeine and i cannot take enough to control it really as it makes me into a zombie. Didnt listen.Said my hips while last tested in stage I [thank GOD but that was 4 years ago!] would likely progress as it usually does and I could expect lifelong operations. Like DUH ya think? But the whole problem was... the judge thought i REFUSED to go down cause... i was using steroids like an addiction. She asked the endo if anyone would use it recreationally AH HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHe said [giggle] no. Can't think of one person EVER wanting to take steroids. And my attorney? Basically, she said nothing. NOTHING. She hugged me at the end, and said she was sorry it didnt look good. Really? Ya think? I even spoke up for myself very respectfully, but the bottom line is no one will listen to me. I'm only the patient. I didn't want their fliping money. I get a stipend until I'm 65 or no longer disabled from a private company. But NO ONE will insure me. I just wanted medical and dental. I need medical, I need dental. And I need a divorce. Erm nvm. Appeal? HA HA HA I had to laugh at my attorney. Not with her sorry ass. She's a nice lady folks but she didn't get paid unless I won. And I'm quite sure I did not. The evidence was what they wanted. I have had no doctor in my corner for two years. I have had to doctor myself. I have two new diagnoses too from a neurologist:Trigger points and myofacial pain syndrome in my lower back. It's SO killing me. I need shots BAD but the expense. I can't... nvm.And some Myalgia sth with sth in my left thigh- making it go numb. I need to find the name but basically, standing up puts pressure on a certain nerve and causes the numbness from hip to knee. My poor mom. I need money and there is none. Her credit cards run up on last year's doctors appointments and prescriptions. All i can buy are the main rxs i really need. Everything else... it just isnt going to happen. Ain't life grand? It's ok. I'll get thru this. I want to go down now but I don't want to get crazy in the head, or too exhuasted in the body before my sister comes down to visit me on 8/11. I'm looking forward to it. How does anyone get disability without records??? I guess I could try on my newly diagnosed bipolarism. [shrugs]
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