I not sure how to deal with all this but I will as i always do I think II just be glad when tuesday gets here and we have the surgery done at least then it be one thing dealt with though it seems here lately that everyday I have something new to deal with and usually it ok but right now ken seems distance I think that he handling this but it hard for me becasue usually it not like with us and i not even sure how to talk with him aboutn it or even if i should maybe he just needs the space. We suppose to go out tomorrow night and then maybe i feel more connected with him. maybe when the surgery over it be ok I sure hope so well going to go for noqw kandy